Awful Day

Yesterday was awful. I did not like the country of Russia--or the doctors, the teachers, the marshrutki drivers (pretty much everybody)--at all.

At 9:30 yesterday morning, I was in good spirits. I had high hopes that the dermatologist would be able to tell me what was wrong with my skin and provide a solution. Turns out, I was horribly naive. The trip to the polyclinic was uneventful (we only almost died twice), and I had to wait only a few minutes once we got there.

The dermatologist says I am having an allergic reaction. The three doctors I saw the day before say that I am not having an allergic reaction. Basically, I have been punted back to my original doctor (an allergy specialist). This is terrible. Surely there is some medicine that will have some effect. Any effect.

This time, Tim was kind enough to go ahead and by my medication for me (he bought double packages of everything--about 2 weeks worth of everything but the skin cream) so that I don't have to pay for it out of my stipend. He is going to try to get me reimbursed for the 600 rubles I've already spend on medication. My Dermovate is 150 rubles a tube, and it only lasts 2-3 days. (There's a lot of surface area that needs help.)

I'm back on the potato-and-bread diet, but now it is even more restrictive. I also have to take some mysterious powder three times a day in addition to the Zyrtec, the diazalene, and the Dermovate. This is perhaps the hardest cross of all to bear. I am not allowed to mix the powder into anything other than kefir (a disgusting liquid that could be a concoction of yogurt/sour milk/buttermilk...it's unidentifiable). I have to drink a half-cup of this stuff 3x a day, an hour before eating. It takes me twenty minutes to gag it down. I am contemplating starvation.

My list of allowed foods:
1. Beef
2. Beef buillion with boiled vegetables (no tomatoes)
3. Kefir
4. white, unsweetened bread
5. tvorog (farmer's cheese...and I am not allowed to sweeten it)
6. Kashi (grains) cooked in water (rice, buckwheat, and oatmeal)
7. Boiled potatoes
8. creamy butter, sunflower oil
9. fresh cucumbers
10. parsley, dill (I am amazed that this is its own category...oh, the Russian mindset)
11. Compote from the top of the pot (fresh fruit boiled in sugary water)
12. Tea with sugar (again, its own category)
13. Baked apples

Yep, folks, that is the sum total of what I am allowed to eat every day. This is enough to bring anyone down (even the most cheerful of people--which we all know is NOT me).

I was very down and depressed yesterday. I feel better today, but I am still not my usual, happily sarcastic self. It is much harder to be sarcastic in Russian. Natasha just doesn't understand when I try. I felt miserable at the doctor's, because they kept talking around me and I didn't understand what they were saying. At that point, I just wanted to go home. If there had been a way, I think I would have quit the program. I don't want to quit, but Russia is getting harder and harder, just because of my affliction, which doesn't hurt or itch, but attracts attention (both sympathetic and unwanted). Its hard to be alone here.

I got back to school in time for grammar class.

After lunch, we were supposed to choose between 2 groups of students to meet with (one from the mathematics department, the other from history). An additional group of journalism students was later added. As I have no interest in mathematics or the practice of journalism, but I really like history and Russian history in particular, I attempted to go to that meeting. Sara, Ross, and I wanted to go.

Lidia Glebnova, our very own Peter I (She is the embodiment of No-Choice-Russia --Tiffany's words, not mine, and only recognizes one way to do anything--her own), told us that we were not interested in history. I informed her that indeed, I was interested. She then told me that because my major was not history, I couldn't go to that meeting. Like my major of Russian Language and minor of Russian and Eurasian Studies has ANYTHING to do with journalism.

The coordinator of the program, John Bailyn (a linguistics professor at Stony Brook), is here in Astrakhan to see how we are progressing and whether any tweaking needs to be done. I am very happy he is here (although he makes me nervous because I have to constantly be aware of my Russian around him).

We met with him yesterday to discuss the program, and seem to have gotten some very effective changes made to our instruction methods (far less passive now, with more conversation and speaking practice) as well as to our entirely-too-long daily schedule. Our load for next week looks to be a lot lighter. Thank goodness.

Tomorrow we are going to the fishing museum...ugh. Lunch is supposed to be Russian National Dishes....none of which I can eat. And we have to meet at the university at 8:45 AM. But I hope it will be better.

I think my skin looks a little better today. I still don't think I have an allergy, but I just want it to go away. I am tired of looking like a freak.

Yesterday, I was a little fed up with Russia, and when John Bailyn asked if we liked lecture, I think I used the phrase "the illusion of choice that is Russia." This seems to have taken Tiffany's fancy. I am a little more inclined to tolerate the country today. Hopefully, this mood (and my skin) improves.

Love, Shelley