Awful Day

Yesterday was awful. I did not like the country of Russia--or the doctors, the teachers, the marshrutki drivers (pretty much everybody)--at all.

At 9:30 yesterday morning, I was in good spirits. I had high hopes that the dermatologist would be able to tell me what was wrong with my skin and provide a solution. Turns out, I was horribly naive. The trip to the polyclinic was uneventful (we only almost died twice), and I had to wait only a few minutes once we got there.

The dermatologist says I am having an allergic reaction. The three doctors I saw the day before say that I am not having an allergic reaction. Basically, I have been punted back to my original doctor (an allergy specialist). This is terrible. Surely there is some medicine that will have some effect. Any effect.

This time, Tim was kind enough to go ahead and by my medication for me (he bought double packages of everything--about 2 weeks worth of everything but the skin cream) so that I don't have to pay for it out of my stipend. He is going to try to get me reimbursed for the 600 rubles I've already spend on medication. My Dermovate is 150 rubles a tube, and it only lasts 2-3 days. (There's a lot of surface area that needs help.)

I'm back on the potato-and-bread diet, but now it is even more restrictive. I also have to take some mysterious powder three times a day in addition to the Zyrtec, the diazalene, and the Dermovate. This is perhaps the hardest cross of all to bear. I am not allowed to mix the powder into anything other than kefir (a disgusting liquid that could be a concoction of yogurt/sour milk/buttermilk...it's unidentifiable). I have to drink a half-cup of this stuff 3x a day, an hour before eating. It takes me twenty minutes to gag it down. I am contemplating starvation.

My list of allowed foods:
1. Beef
2. Beef buillion with boiled vegetables (no tomatoes)
3. Kefir
4. white, unsweetened bread
5. tvorog (farmer's cheese...and I am not allowed to sweeten it)
6. Kashi (grains) cooked in water (rice, buckwheat, and oatmeal)
7. Boiled potatoes
8. creamy butter, sunflower oil
9. fresh cucumbers
10. parsley, dill (I am amazed that this is its own category...oh, the Russian mindset)
11. Compote from the top of the pot (fresh fruit boiled in sugary water)
12. Tea with sugar (again, its own category)
13. Baked apples

Yep, folks, that is the sum total of what I am allowed to eat every day. This is enough to bring anyone down (even the most cheerful of people--which we all know is NOT me).

I was very down and depressed yesterday. I feel better today, but I am still not my usual, happily sarcastic self. It is much harder to be sarcastic in Russian. Natasha just doesn't understand when I try. I felt miserable at the doctor's, because they kept talking around me and I didn't understand what they were saying. At that point, I just wanted to go home. If there had been a way, I think I would have quit the program. I don't want to quit, but Russia is getting harder and harder, just because of my affliction, which doesn't hurt or itch, but attracts attention (both sympathetic and unwanted). Its hard to be alone here.

I got back to school in time for grammar class.

After lunch, we were supposed to choose between 2 groups of students to meet with (one from the mathematics department, the other from history). An additional group of journalism students was later added. As I have no interest in mathematics or the practice of journalism, but I really like history and Russian history in particular, I attempted to go to that meeting. Sara, Ross, and I wanted to go.

Lidia Glebnova, our very own Peter I (She is the embodiment of No-Choice-Russia --Tiffany's words, not mine, and only recognizes one way to do anything--her own), told us that we were not interested in history. I informed her that indeed, I was interested. She then told me that because my major was not history, I couldn't go to that meeting. Like my major of Russian Language and minor of Russian and Eurasian Studies has ANYTHING to do with journalism.

The coordinator of the program, John Bailyn (a linguistics professor at Stony Brook), is here in Astrakhan to see how we are progressing and whether any tweaking needs to be done. I am very happy he is here (although he makes me nervous because I have to constantly be aware of my Russian around him).

We met with him yesterday to discuss the program, and seem to have gotten some very effective changes made to our instruction methods (far less passive now, with more conversation and speaking practice) as well as to our entirely-too-long daily schedule. Our load for next week looks to be a lot lighter. Thank goodness.

Tomorrow we are going to the fishing museum...ugh. Lunch is supposed to be Russian National Dishes....none of which I can eat. And we have to meet at the university at 8:45 AM. But I hope it will be better.

I think my skin looks a little better today. I still don't think I have an allergy, but I just want it to go away. I am tired of looking like a freak.

Yesterday, I was a little fed up with Russia, and when John Bailyn asked if we liked lecture, I think I used the phrase "the illusion of choice that is Russia." This seems to have taken Tiffany's fancy. I am a little more inclined to tolerate the country today. Hopefully, this mood (and my skin) improves.

Love, Shelley

No News on the Home Front

Health:
I went to the doctor again today. This trip was even more fun than the previous foray into the mysteries of Russian health care. Today I had no fewer than 5 doctors look at me, and I was interrogated (via the translation efforts of Tim, our group leader) about the duration, appearance, etc.

However, they have now determined that I DO NOT have an allergy. (I bought a bar of chocolate as soon as I got back to school.) Tomorrow at 9:30 I am going to a dermatologist. In Russia, you have to make doctor appointments through other doctors. I saw a lot of people just waiting at the clinic today.

My cream seems to be doing its best, so I am going to keep using it. I have one Zyrtec left, so I'll probably take that tomorrow. I was given no instructions upon leaving the hospital today, so I guess I will just wing it as I see fit.

Classes:
They have changed two of our classes. Lecture is now a lecture series by a professor from the history department, A.O. Tyurin. He is very interesting, but they have unfortunately limited his lectures to topics about Astrakhan'. By the time we leave, I will be one of 22 experts in the world on the City of Astrakhan' in all of its tiniest details. Seriously, a change of pace from the topic of "Astrakhan'" would be greatly appreciated.

The addition of Choir didn't really change any other classes, but I am enjoying it greatly. I love to sing Russian songs...and the sadder they are, the better the song. This is not my opinion; it's fact. The choir leader is also our Phonetics instructor, so we have to sing everytime we see her. They try to vary the sad songs with happy ones, but these are generally so fast that my American tongue can't negotiate the sounds fast enough. I hope they give us the melodies before we leave. I will rock out singing my Russian dirges in the Jetta.

People:
For the most part, I really enjoy my fellow students here in Astrakhan'. There are still a few I haven't really hung out with, but I am okay with that. My group (Chamomile...seriously) is a great group of people, and I really enjoy spending time with them. Ross, Sara, Laura, and Jennifer are great fun, and will actually make an effort to adhere to the language pledge.

I need to be more diligent in my adherence to the pledge. I would say that, with other students, I am at 50%, and there are times that I say things in English that I could have said in Russian, with a little effort and disregard for perfection of grammar. There are somethings I just can't say, especially if I am in my "translate-from-English-thoughts" mode. More and more, I am using Russian words in my thoughts. Maybe in 5 weeks I will completely switch over. I hope so.

I can't say "black bread." That sentence was actually very hard to type. It is always "чёрный хлеб."

There are people on this trip who I have never heard try to speak Russian. More than a few have brushed aside comments (or when recounting adventures in bars) with "I can't speak Russian." This is incredibly annoying. When Tim delivers his weekly lecture about the pledge (which for our group--chamomiles--has become less harsh), he tells us that we have to be our own language police. I would rather be able to chose my own lunch table and sit with people I know will speak Russian.

Oh, I love how Drusia speaks Russian. She speaks very well, but she is from California. She inserts "like" into her Russian sentences. It is great, because I know my Russian teacher is wondering what the strange sound she is making is. Drusia says "like" everywhere you would expect it in an English sentence, but she is speaking Russian sentences. Drusia also speaks Italian, and I wonder if she does the same thing in that language.

David has the most awesome Russian accent. He and Ross get praised all the time in Phonetics. I do not. Poor Sara can't even fake a rolled 'r', and our phonetics teacher is forever making pitying noises at her. I think I can fake the Russian 'r' pretty well, but today we had to reproduce isolated hard and soft 'r's; it was very difficult. Today's phonetics lesson was all about hard and soft consonents--my jaw got very tired from the "smile" that supposedly helps you soften the consonents.

Another light day--but I have massive amounts of homework to do. I'll write again soon.

I do miss you all...and thanks so much for the comments, Facebook messages, and emails. It helps so much!

Love, Shelley

Loveliness

Today is a red-letter day; we are getting ages of free time, although the first group is doing 90 minutes of translation while the 2nd and 3rd groups get internet time. Poor them.

We went to Volgograd (formerly Stalingrad--the largest, bloodiest battle of WWII) on Saturday. The city was big and beautiful, with many monuments and memorials to the soldiers. Pictures are up on the Photobucket. (Speaking of pictures, I now have almost 2G of them on my flash card...and it's only week 3!)

We rode the train overnight to and from the city (we left Friday at 9 PM and returned Sunday at 6 AM). I had never been on a train before, much less a Russian train. It was an interesting experience, but surprisingly comfortable. I was quite fortunate in my choice of coupe: we were gluttons rather than drunkards. (There are only two options to pass the time on a train--eat or get drunk.) I was with Maria, Sara, and Ross (2 of the 3 have blogs linked to mine). It was quite fun.

I would say that the majority of our group opted for the drunkeness option, which was pretty annoying after midnight. Vodka is forbidden (and illegal) on Russian trains, but almost everyone ignores the rule. Sara tells me that she has seen excessively rowdy drunk passengers ejected from the train.

I slept very well on the train. Everything you hear about the motion being soothing is true. I slept off and on the first night (I woke up for every stop), and then slept through Saturday night.

Poor Ross had his wallet stolen on the marshrutka on our way home from school on Friday. He was quite distraught, as we had just received our stipend (all 1500 rubles of it) and his bank and credit cards were in it.

I loved the weather in Volgograd on Saturday. It was cool and drizzly, with a breeze. Such a nice change of pace from the melting heat of the past 2 weeks. Even though we had a bus, we walked for ages and ages on different excursions.

We arrived at 9 AM, ate breakfast at a cafe (it was the lunch menu--but Lyuba pointed out the blinichki with tvorog. They are rolled crepe-like pancakes with sweetened farmer's cheese...so yummy...and in my diet), and then got on the bus. We walked the boardwalk and up the memorial park/lane to the central square of Volgograd (a giant circle back to the train station), an then went to the base of the memorial park on the highest hill in the city. Volgograd is home to a giant sculpture, Mother of the Motherland, which is taller than the Statute of Liberty. In order to get to the statue (you have to walk--no handicapped options here), you proceed through staircase after staircase, memorial square after memorial square, so on and so forth, until you arrive at a memorial pantheon (the Stalingrad version of the Vietnam memorial). From there you proceed up the slope to the monument. We basically climbed the highest hill in the area. Great views of the city.

After visiting the church at the statute, where I purchased an Orthodox ring (it says "save and protect me" in Church Slavonic), we walked a short way to the parking lot and got on the bus, in which we re-circled the downtown on our way to the museum. We were scheduled to eat lunch at Cafe Old Stalingrad. The atmosphere was awesome, but the food was terrible. Drusia had to scrounge black bread from another table (I'm not allowed to eat white), and I couldn't drink my grape juice (also not allowed)...and had to pay 35 rubles for apple juice. But it had ice and a straw in it. This utterly amazed David (he drank my grape juice). The restaurant served us LIVER and mashed potatoes for lunch. Ugh. I couldn't even cut mine. David was the only one at the table to finish his. Amazing.

After lunch we went to the war museum. There was a flat fee to take pictures, but my batteries were dying and I didn't feel like paying $2. On the 3rd/4th floor of the musuem--of course no elevators--was a huge panorama of the battle. It was amazing...the muraled wall blended perfectly with the floor's 3-D trenches and other residue of battle. The guide pointed out in the mural the still-standing, shelled factory next to the musuem we were currently in. I am really happy we got to see the panorama...although by this time I was thoroughly sick of staircases.

The musuem also has the sniper rifle of Zaitsev, the most famous soldier of the battle of Stalingrad, and subject of the movie The Enemy at the Gates (Jude Law's character, I think).

After the musuem, we proceeded to the Planetarium, where we climbed yet another set of stairs. I can't tell you much more than that, because I slept for the entire presentation. The seats were not very comfortable.

After the planetarium, we went back to the same cafe we breakfasted in. I have now been to the Cafe Limon 3 times, and in Volgograd twice. The same food was served for dinner as was for breakfast, but I ate apple charlotka and was content.

A quick forage at the grocery store across the street to purchase goodies for another gluttonous feast on the train, and then we got on our train to return to Astrakhan'.

In Astrakhan' Lidia Glebovna gave Sara, Maria, and me a ride to our respective streets. As soon as I got into my room, I fell into bed and slept for another 7 hours.

Sunday night (last night) Sara, Laura, and myself went to the Dramatic Theater (that is literally what it is called) to see a comedy...I can't translate the title. It was a period piece, and while the set was pretty, I didn't really understand much of it. (It was very confusing: the mom wanted her daughter to marry the Prince, but another guy wanted to marry the daughter, and the Prince liked the daughter but didn't want to marry her, and the daughter didn't want to marry anybody...I think.) This time Sara and I got on the right marshrutka going in the right direction, and had no troubles getting home.

After I got home, my mom called. This made me happy, because I had kept forgetting to buy an international calling card over the previous 3-4 days, and I knew my grandparent's 50th was approaching. I got to wish my grandparents a happy anniversary, and talk briefly to everyone. It was nice, but hard. I think it is harder this time in Russia just because I have so much more contact with everyone at home. I miss you more when I think about you, and with no real internet or phone options it is easier to push everyone to the back of my mind and enjoy the moment. But I wouldn't give up the contact for anything.

Allison--I cannot read the Russian biochemical information on the back of my drugs (well, I can, but I don't understand it), and I have no idea what they would translate to in English. My cream is "derma--something with an "a" sound" (--aid, ate) I don't know by Glaxo-Smith-Kline. I'm taking Zyrtec daily, and some mystery pill--it might be something like diazalene(?).

Mom--I talked to Tim today about my concerns that my symptoms are alleviated but haven't abated. He is going to see if it is possible to arrange a consultation with a dermatologist.

Today seems the closest we have ever had to a half-day or a light day. Maybe I can actually go sit in a cafe for a while tonight. I just wish I could have chocolate or eat desert. It is incredibly difficult to feed my sweet tooth when fruit and chocolate are forbidden. Thank God for honey.

I have to leave for choir now. (They have added a new class to our schedule: Choir). I am really excited about it!

Love y'all--all y'all. Shelley.