Repurposing

I started this blog--it seems like forever ago--to chronicle my second trip to Russia. Well, I have since changed career paths, and so I have been feeling the need to spring-clean my life, which includes my internet presence.

The thought that keeps going around in my head is that if I get my stuff in order, both the physical stuff and the invisible internet stuff, then the mental stuff that has been driving me insane will somehow magically get in line also. I recently quit being a graduate student, and now I am no longer sure how to define myself. I have spent my entire life being a nerd, a brainiac (feel free to insert more synonyms). What do I do now? I am 25 years old; I have a Master's degree; I am paralyzed at a crossroads of life.

I hope that by giving myself something to do, even if unimportant and unread by others, I will break free of this 6-week rut I've been in and start to do something, anything. I need to get moving, to get motivated. I need to apply for jobs.

So far, the only job I have applied for is a barista job at Starbucks. I know they won't hire me, so it was an easy application to do. I've never worked retail. I have no customer service experience. But Starbucks is the company of choice for failed academics and graduate students without sufficient funding, so I applied.

Is it weird that the good jobs, the jobs I would be interested in doing and have real career potential, I avoid like the plague? I'm terrified that I am woefully under-qualified for a government job, even though my degree in Russian is pretty much only useful to the feds. I hate feeling like this. I'm stuck. Why do I psych myself out like this? God, I need some self-confidence.